On Dealing With Uninvited Guests

When someone wants to bring an extra guest to your event, it can be hard to say no. For example, a relative really wants to come to your wedding or party but can’t leave their child behind. They’ll ask if they can bring their kid and yaya with them. Or a childhood friend is coming but doesn’t want to attend alone, so they’ll ask if they can bring a plus one.

These situations can be tricky, but you have every right to decide who attends your event. It’s all good if you have some space on your guest list for some more and you are willing to include them. But what if you don’t?

Here are some quick tips on how to deal with uninvited guests—including plus ones:

Politely Explain the Situation

Let the person know you have a limited guest list for the event. Some event venues only allow for a maximum number of guests, so you won’t be able to accommodate additional guests, including the plus ones. If your guest wants to bring a child, but you are having an adults only event, explain the situation to them. It’s better to communicate clearly before your event than having to deal with unexpected visitors on the actual event day. 

Offer Alternatives

You may want to inform those without plus one allocations which common friends you’ve invited so they know they’re not alone. Or if you have a live stream of your event on the day, you can suggest they hop onto your live stream instead. If they are really unable to leave behind a child or do without a plus one, at least they can still attend your event.

Tell them you appreciate them for wanting to come, but you are unable to accommodate their additional guest/s this time.

Be Firm

Some guests, even after you tell them “no” will continue to push. When that happens, be firm but polite in your response. Let them know that the guest list has already been finalized, and you are unable to accommodate their request.

It helps if you can establish a system for your guests early on, such as the following:

Setting Up an RSVP System

Requiring RSVPs for your event can help you keep track of who has been invited to avoid confusion about who is expected to attend. You’ll also be able to see at a glance whether or not you still have available seats.

Indicating the Number of Seats Allotted for the Guest

In some invites for weddings or parties, the number of seats allotted per guest is indicated in the invite. This detail makes it clear to guests that there are only a limited number of seats for them. It will help them decide whether or not to go and inform them if they can bring a guest or not.

It’s important to be clear in your response while being understanding toward the person’s request. You may also enlist the help of an event planner or co-host to handle situations like these.